“Have you considered contacting a support group? Speak with others going through similar experiences, if possible.” I gave a headshake. “I have no time to devote to that. There are always bills to pay and shifts to pick up.” Dr. Chen did not press, only sighed and offered me a meek grin. She was aware of my stubbornness.

I gradually began to dig myself out of the financial hole as the years went by. The continual anxiety of becoming bankrupt started to fade as the debts started to decrease. Still, there was emptiness. Every Christmas and every birthday, I would find myself wanting the phone to ring by staring at it, wishing for Daniel to arrive. However, that never happened.

I made a couple attempts at dating, but it never felt right. How could I describe my life to a stranger? After so much disappointment, how could I let myself be vulnerable? Thirteen years went by in a fog of loneliness and tiredness. Then there came a knock on the door one evening.

When I opened it, he was inside. Thirty-one-year-old Daniel standing on my porch, hesitantly grinning and carrying two suitcases. “Hello, Mom. My desire is to return home.” My thoughts raced. I wanted to yell at him for leaving me, to smash the door in his face. Rather, I noticed that I was moving aside to make room for him.

Daniel began, “I’m so sorry, Mom,” his voice breaking. He went to the living room and got down on his knees. “I experienced… issues. Grave ones. I did not wish to involve you with them.” I crossed my arms and stood there. “What kind of problems?” Daniel raised his head to face me, tears welling up in his eyes.

“I was involved with some nasty people. Gambling and drugs… I had overextended myself. I believed that leaving would keep you safe.” My wrath somewhat subsided. “You had the option to tell me. Together, we could have dealt with it.” He hung his head and added, “I know that now. I was foolish and young. Will you ever be able to pardon me?”

Feeling the weight of thirteen years of hurt and loneliness, I let out a sigh. “Daniel, I need time. But for now, feel free to remain.” With the exception of the sound of forks clinking on plates, we ate dinner together in silence. It was impossible for me to ignore how much he had changed. The gaunt youth had vanished, leaving a man with wide shoulders and sunken eyes in his stead.

I finally said, “So,” to end the stillness. “What have you been doing all these years?” Daniel moved the food on his plate around. “Mom, it’s a long story. I’ve traveled far and wide. Attempting to organize myself.” “And have you?” With a stronger tone than I meant to, I asked. “Sorted yourself out?”

He gave a nod. “I believe that. I’ve cleaned up now. Had been for some time. I have an appointment at a city employment. All I needed to do was see you first. To express regret.” I was tempted to trust him. How I desired, God would have it. But I’d learned to be wary after thirteen years of disappointment and loneliness.

“Daniel, that’s excellent to hear. I’m happy that you’re improving.” Daniel said in a murmur, “I missed you every day, Mom,” as I led him to his former room. I nodded, not believing I could talk. There was a flicker of hope when I shut the door to my bedroom. We may try to mend our relationship again.

I woke up around two in the morning to weird noises, shattering that hope. With my bare feet soundless on the chilly floor, I tiptoed down the corridor. Daniel was there, looking through the closet where I stored my savings, lit up by the moonlight. The money I’d worked through illness and fatigue for years, pinching and saving.

“What are you doing?” Even though my voice was hardly audible, Daniel jumped as if he had been shot. With a wad of cash in his hand, he spun around. “Mom! I… I’m able to clarify.” “Get out.” The words lacked warmth. “Get out now, or I’m calling the police.” Daniel’s expression twisted. I caught a glimpse of the little boy he used to be.

Then his face became stern. He didn’t say anything, but picked up his luggage that were still at the front door, and headed out. I hit the floor as the door slammed behind him. Even though I was crying nonstop, I had an odd sense of calm. It had been thirteen years since I’d lost him. I’d made it through a chronic sickness, terrible debt, and Robert’s death. I could also make it through this.

I had to make a choice as daylight broke. It was time to put myself first and surround myself with genuine caring

people. Daniel was done making decisions. It was time for me to make mine. Reaching for the phone, I contacted Dr. Chen. I left a message when her answering service picked up. “It’s Evelyn, Dr. Chen. I believe I’m prepared to join the support group you indicated. And… I believe I should speak with someone. Perhaps a therapist. When you can, give me a call back.”

How would you have responded in that situation?