I spent years of my life wanting to take revenge on my father because he abandoned me when I needed him the most. When life gave me the chance to do it, I thought twice.

One day I opened the door and I saw someone I didn’t expect. It was my dad. I hadn’t seen him for ages. In fact, I didn’t want to.

“Hi, son. I’m sorry to come like this. I tried to call you but you didn’t answer your phone,” he told me.

“Yeah, what do you want?”

“I was wondering if maybe I could stay with you… I don’t have a place right now, so…”

“You can stay. But you have to pay rent.”

“But I don’t have any money at all… and you’re the only person who can help me.”

“I don’t care,” I said, feeling my heart tighten. “You can live on the street. I wish God had taken you instead of mom!”

I slammed the door and my wife was just behind me. She was pissed with what just happened but she had no idea what I went through with this man. She pushed me to tell her, so I did.

It all started when I turned 18. My mom had passed away 2 years before that, so I think my dad was still adapting to taking both roles. He prepared a surprise birthday party and everything. After we celebrated, he asked me what I was planning to do with my living situation and I was like, what the heck?

He told me I was an adult and if I wanted to stay with him in the house, I needed to pay some kind of rent. I was so angry. Pay rent? To my own father?! What’s wrong with him?

He continued with his argument saying that was normal and I had to grow up. When I told him I’d rather live in a dorm in college than pay him rent, he said he couldn’t afford college and I had to pay for it myself. That I should either get a job or a loan.

“I felt betrayed, Julie. I didn’t expect that. That’s why I left,” I told my wife.

Julie said my father reached out to her a few days earlier and that she gave him our address. That’s right, she didn’t tell me anything either…

And then, she suggested I forgive my father. “It’s been years,” she said.

But no. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t want to forgive him. He was the one who threw me out like some kind of stray dog. “No, Julie, I work 24/7 to at least, eat normally. And he? He just abandoned me! No forgiveness!” I told her.

“Come on, honey, he’s your father!”

“So what? You don’t know! You don’t understand… Only my mom truly loved me. And she would have never allowed him to kick me out of my own house and…”

“Nick,” Julie interrupted me, “do you know your father’s side of the story? I mean you lost your mom but he lost his wife… Have you thought about how this affected him as well?”

“You know what? THAT’S ENOUGH!” I shouted, “I don’t want to hear it!! I’m done…”