My baby girl usually visits her father on some weekends, but what happened this time had my heart racing. Our daughter asked to talk to me over the phone and used our code word, alerting me that she needed a way out. Here’s why having code words is an important trick to keep our kids safe.

When I was a little girl, my mother taught me how to use a code word if I was in trouble and couldn’t speak up. As an adult, I decided to impart this brilliant method to my baby girl. I figured she could use it to get out of sleepovers or if she had awkward hangouts. But I never imagined her needing to use it so soon.

So yesterday was like any other day, or so I thought. As I sat in my kitchen, finishing my evening coffee, my phone rang. It was my ex-husband, Dave. Our relationship, once filled with warmth, had grown strained over the years. Divorce had a way of doing that, and while we tried to maintain a civil relationship for our daughter, Amy, things were often tense.

“Hey, Claire,” Dave’s voice came through, slightly hesitant. “Amy wants to talk to you. She’s been asking to tell you about her day since she got here.” This caught me off guard. Amy usually enjoyed her weekends with her dad and rarely called during those visits. “Oh, sure, put her on,” I replied, trying to stay steady. Dave’s tone only added to the unease that was starting to settle in my stomach.

“Hi, Mom!” Amy’s voice was cheerful, but something in her tone felt off. I perked up and listened intently. “Hey, sweetie! How’s your weekend going? Have you been having fun?” I asked, hoping to keep things light. “Yeah, it’s been good. We went to the park yesterday, and I drew some pictures this morning. I drew a dog, a tree, and… I wish I had a blue marker so I could draw blueberries.”

The words hit me like a ton of bricks. There it was: our code word. My heart skipped a beat. Among her chatter, Amy had dropped our secret word. “Blueberries” was the signal we had agreed on for when she felt unsafe. I forced myself to stay calm. The word meant, “get me out of here immediately.”

“That sounds great, honey. I’m on my way to come get you. Please don’t say anything to your father. I’ll talk to him when I get there.” I tried to sound normal. “Did you have anything else you wanted to tell me?” “No, that’s it,” she replied, her tone still sweet but carrying something else: fear? I couldn’t be sure, but I knew one thing—I had to get her out of there. “I’ll see you soon, okay?” “Okay, Mom. Love you.” “Love you too, my Amy Wamy.” She giggled as I hung up, my hands trembling.

My mind raced. Dave had never given me any reason to doubt him, but something was wrong. I grabbed my keys, determined to get Amy. When I finally arrived at his place, I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. To my surprise, a woman I didn’t recognize answered. She looked at me with curiosity and annoyance. “Can I help you?” she asked, her tone clipped.

“I’m here to pick up my daughter. Is Dave home?” I asked. “He’s just gone out to run some errands,” she replied, crossing her arms. “But Amy’s inside. Who are you?” “I’m Claire, Amy’s mom. And you are?” “I’m Lisa. Dave’s girlfriend. We’ve been living together for a few weeks now.”

I blinked, taken aback. Dave had never mentioned he had a girlfriend, let alone that she’d moved in. Why hadn’t Amy said anything? But now wasn’t the time for questions. I needed to get my daughter. “Well, Lisa, Amy has a doctor’s appointment early tomorrow. I need to take her now,” I lied, forcing a smile. Lisa didn’t seem convinced but didn’t argue. “Fine, but I’ll let Dave know.” “Of course,” I said, stepping past her into the house.

Amy was on the couch, coloring. Her face lit up when she saw me, but I could see relief in her eyes. “Hi, sweetie. We need to go to the doctor tomorrow, remember?” Amy nodded silently and followed me out. Lisa watched us, but didn’t stop us.