A woman and her boyfriend’s mother recently had an argument. She took to Reddit to share the story and ask the Redditors for advice.

Here’s the full story:

“I’ve been dating my partner Nick for three years now approaching four.

I was very friendly with his family before this incident.

I believe we were very close because I was invited to spend the holidays with them and we exchanged birthday presents.

Nick’s family takes a vacation every year and this summer we went somewhere I’ve been dying to see.

I asked his mother, who organized the holiday if I could go and if I could cover my own expenses.

I wasn’t family yet, so I apologized, but this was a family trip, she explained.

When I told Nick this, he replied that no one significant other had been invited, so I wasn’t the only one left out.

Although I was still angry, I forgot about it. Now that autumn has arrived, the temperature is dropping.

I decided to commemorate the cold weather by making my family chili recipe for Nick’s family.

I made sure they had plenty of chilies to go home because Nick and his family loved it.

Nick’s mom asked if I could give her the recipe so she could cook it at work before she left.

Sorry, but this is a family recipe that is kept under wraps.

Have we thought of us as a family yet? she asked. I replied that according to you we are not. Then she said, “Oh, okay,” and left.

When everyone left, Nick accused me of being unkind. I told him he couldn’t decide when we would be a family; it was his mother who first claimed I wasn’t.